Christmas Spirit?

Ok, so. I know I am late but, Merry Christmas!
So the holidays are a tricky thing-or at least from my point of view. Obviously it is all a market scandal to sell sell sell! Despite their intentions they paint this idealistic picture of happy families coming together for the sake of love and presents. This image usually involves standing rib roasts, warm living rooms painted in an ochre color, kids sharing a book, and the parents adoring the sight. I think it is apparent that this is a sham.
My Christmas started at 7am and ugh I dreaded the day. “Please, five more minutes! (I need to prepare myself mentally for stress, weird uncles, etc.) I couldn’t help but be excited about giving away the presents I had bought so I got up. I put effort into choosing just the right thing, and hoped it would light up their face. Once the situation occurs the feeling is different. I began to doubt myself, “Did I pick the right thing? What if they don’t like it? That’s my effort and money gone to waste. They open it and you stare at them for a look of joy and surprise. It appears, and you judge whether it is fake or sincere. Nobody wants to disappoint anyone on a day that is supposed to be a time of cheer, and happiness.
The whole present thing set aside, the people involved--family. Well, more often than not you have to travel from one side of the family to the other or at least that is my situation. Of course one side of family may not be the most understanding of you and all of your short comings--but you hope that because of this occasion it can all be swept aside for the sake of Christmas. This is what I have to prepare for. What will they think of me?...my outfit? We haven’t spoken in a while…do they care? You walk in with all your hope in one hand, and suppressed anger in the other. Which way will it go? I am prepared either way. Surprisingly this year it went according to plan. “Hey, how are ya?--Whats new? Here are your presents. Eat a bagel. This dip is the best. Well…I have got to get going. In and out.
The best part comes when you stop to visit the old friends. Those are the people I want to be with. No history of anger, and moral wrongs and rights--only humorous stories of when we were the biggest losers in elementary school with pictures as evidence. You check in for a while, eat some hor’ dourves, exchange gifts which goes off without a hitch because you know this person better than anyone. That’s funny; you think you’d know your family better…false. It is merry and filled with happiness for one another and the status of their lives.
Dinner time. I ate at my Father’s side of the family this year, which was how I wanted it. There was in fact a standing rib roast. These people get me. They generally accept me for who I am with a little advice here and there. I consume this advice without haste. We share, we laugh, and we love one another. There Is however, this little thing called STRESS. Making things perfect, or at least trying to can easily tip the hostile scales and create a mess. It may happen once or twice; everyone shuts up and ignores it for the sake of not wanting to get in between. We eat cake, and everything is back to normal. An hour later you can joke and tease about the previous argument or flare up. It is a way of talking about it without talking about it, so it can be settled through laughter. I love that. That’s how you know you are family.
I am not trying to be a negative Nancy but there are certain aspects of the Holiday spirit that are wonderful and actually do happen, it is just weeding out all of the falsities. You cannot get yourself all worked up otherwise everything thing that doesn’t go according to plan will surely sour your holiday. My advice is to not have a plan to begin with, just show up with a smile.